Couples Therapy

blog posts about couples therapy

The Worst Advice for Couples Considering Divorce

Just like when you announce any other life event, like marriage or having a baby, if you announce you’re getting a divorce, opinions will abound. Your loved ones just want to help, but some of their advice will just be bad. How do you know what will help you through this difficult process, and what is well-intentioned nonsense? Today, a licensed marriage and family therapist is going to help you wade through the worst advice for couples considering divorce, and steer you in the right direction. “Stay together for the kids.” Let me begin by saying that no one is …

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5 Simple Signs You Need Couples Therapy

According to research by the renowned couples therapists at The Gottman Institute, partners wait an average of six years before getting help for marital problems. For many, this is because going to relationship counseling signals defeat. They wait for the major blowout fight, after which it’s impossible to ignore that they need help. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, the sooner people seek couples therapy, the better chance they’re giving their relationship. Here are some key indicators that now may be a good time to schedule an appointment. 1. Near-Constant Bickering A healthy relationship often involves …

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7 Most Important Advantages of Marriage Counseling

Marriage isn’t easy, even for the most compatible people. Over the course of a long-term relationship, things will inevitably change, and therefore each partner’s needs may evolve. While maintaining a marriage takes a good bit of effort, most couples who make it through those challenging times agree that the effort is well worth it. And here’s some good news– marriage counseling, (also known as marriage therapy or couples counseling) can help you get to the other side of your problems. Here are some of the benefits: 1. Better Communication Almost every couple that walks through my proverbial door (many of …

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Marital Doubt: Are You On the Brink of Divorce?

People usually keep their doubts about their marriage to themselves. I’m not talking about ordinary concerns about the relationship, or even feeling stuck in a pattern. I’m talking about worries about whether or not the relationship will survive. It’s scary to think about. If you tell others, you might get unhelpful suggestions like “go with your gut” or “make a pro and con list.” The doubts stay underground, coming and going, sometimes for years. Marital doubt is way more common than most people realize. And there are ways to get past it and get clear about the future of your …

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How to Manage the Problems That Make Couples Divorce

Once upon a time when divorce was rare, most people were driven to it by what I call The Three A’s– affairs, addictions or abuse. Divorce meant that someone was chronically cheating, repeatedly intoxicated, or physically violent. These Three A’s are known as “hard” reasons for divorce because they represent dysfunctional behaviors that impact human dignity and safety. In their full bloom, they’re not tolerable to live with while still having a healthy life. But as we’ll talk about in a minute, the presence of one of the A’s doesn’t mean you have to rush to divorce court; there may …

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Sick of Arguing About What Defines Cheating?

Some of the muddiest waters of couples counseling are in the area of infidelity. What one partner defines as “friendship” may look like a budding romance to the other. This can lead to a lot of fights about what defines cheating in a relationship. Does it have to involve physical touch? Does there have to be an emotional connection? Unsurprisingly, no one is soothed by these arguments back and forth. The partner who feels betrayed stays betrayed, and the partner with the other relationship feels judged and defensive. So what do we do? We define an emotional affair. There are …

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